Always second best
by LyG4ever
Summary: In a desperate act, Chloe kills herself. She may've thought she was setting herself free and helping her family, but she wasn't. Now, her sister has to deal with it. FINISHED!
1. Chloe

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'So Little Time' or anything related to it. The song 'Nobody's Home' belongs to Avril Lavigne, and 'Shadow' to Ashlee Simpson. **

AN: Rated PG-13 fordealing withthemes such as cutting, throwing up and suicide. If you're offended by any of those things, don't read.

**Nobody's Home. 1st part, starts from Riley's Pov.**  
_"I couldn't tell you why she felt that way"_  
'I just don't know… Chlo is acting weird around us…' Riley Carlson thinks.  
_"She felt it everyday"  
_'Every day, when we get back from school, she locks herself in her bedroom…'_  
"And I couldn't help her"  
_'She doesn't talk to us anymore…'_  
"I just watched her make the same mistakes again"_  
'She wanders around, just like a ghost… She's not _My Chlo_ anymore…'

_"What's wrong, what's wrong now?"  
_'I just… wish she'd come along and tells me all about her problems… we haven't talked in years…'  
_"Too many, too many problems"  
_'Our old great and strong friendship has been reduced to… nothing. She barely ever speaks, and she absolutely lost her love on fashion…'_  
"Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs"  
_'She's always wearing those awful black baggy pants, and black shirts. Her beautiful curled hair is everytime more and more messy…'

_"She wants to go home, but nobody's home"  
_'Her skin is every day paler. Her makeup (if she wears some) is very dark…'  
_"It's where she lies, broken inside"  
_'… I once saw some marks in her skin, which once was soft as a baby's. I know she cuts herself'  
_"With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes"  
_'She probably throws up too, because she's skinny…'  
_"Broken inside"  
_'Whom once were 'Chlo and Riles', now are 'Chlo' and 'Riles'… We're like strangers now. But I miss my lil' sis…'

_"Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why"  
_'The last time she ever spoke to me, she said 'They don't see…' then, I never heard her voice again…'  
_"You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind"  
_'Who are they? What don't they see?'  
_"Be strong, be strong now"  
_'Chloe Carlson, the one who once had dreams and a brilliant future, is now gone. Her shadow is left'  
_"Too many, too many problems"  
_'Why can't she just talk to me?'  
_"Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs"  
_'Chlo, I miss you…'

_"She wants to go home, but nobody's home"  
_Chloe comes in. She's wearing black baggy pants and a black shirt. Her face's expression is lost.  
_"It's where she lies, broken inside"  
_She looks around, then locks herself in the bathroom. Riley hears a gag noise, then a flush.  
_"With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes"  
_Chloe comes out, looking dizzy and tired. Her eyes stop in her sister for a second, then close.  
_"Broken inside"  
_She walks slowly to her room and locks in. Riley sobs quietly.

_"Her feelings she hides"  
_Chloe's pale skin has a little mark very near her wrists.  
_"Her dreams she can't find"  
_She rolls up her shirt's sleeves and looks at her bony arm. It has several more marks.  
_"She's losing her mind"  
_With her hand shaking, she grabs a razor and cuts a little until blood comes out from the new mark.  
_"She's fallen behind"  
_Rolling up her pants, she stares at her many other cuts in her legs.  
_"She can't find her place"  
_She slowly touches some marks and shivers.  
_"She's losing her faith"  
_Each of them means a bad moment, a moment she doesn't want to remember.  
_"She's fallen from grace"  
_With her eyelids bating frequently, she wipes the blood with a towel, sits and waits.  
_"She's all over the place"  
_What's she waiting for? Redemption? Forgiveness? Answers?  
_"Yeah, oh"  
_Her hand is shaking even more. She picks up the razor again and cuts her wrists vertically.

_"She wants to go home, but nobody's home"  
_She sighs and closes her eyes.  
_"It's where she lies, broken inside"  
_Slowly, she gets up and gets on her bed.  
_"With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes"  
_"The only solution…" she mutters, closing her eyes.  
_"Broken inside"  
_Shivering, she opens them again, and looks at the door she thought was locked.

_"She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh"  
_Her sister is staring at her from it, now open. Riley's jaw hangs open, and rushes to her side. Chloe looks at Riley in the eyes, then closes hers.  
_She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah  
_"Mom!" she cries. "Dad!" She stares at her beautiful sister's pale face, while their parents rush in.

…………………………….…………………………….…………………………………….

**"Shadow****"2nd part, starts from Chloe's Pov.**

_"I was six years old"  
_'There she is. Riley Carlson. Straight A student, popular, my parents favorite' Chloe thinks._  
"When my parents went away"  
_'When was the first time they started to ignore me? I can't remember'_  
"I was stuck inside a broken life"  
_'Maybe it was around the time I started to get failing notes at school'_  
"I couldn't wish away"  
_'The time when Riley gave me shocked looks when she saw my grades'_  
"She was beautiful"  
_'The time when I started to cut myself'_  
"She had everything and more"  
_'Let's face it. If a girl has attention, love and friends is happy, right?'_  
"And my escape was hiding out and running for the door"  
_'When she feels lack in those things, her life turns a hell'

_"Somebody listen please"  
_'If I was happy, then, why would I throw up? Or cut? Or not pay attention to school?'  
_"It used to be so hard being me"  
_'Why would I give up in my dreams?'  
_"Living in the shadow"  
_'Maybe because they started to prefer her'  
_"Of someone else's dream"  
_'My parents, my friends… they all started to notice Riley the most and leave me apart'  
_"Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me"  
_'You've gotta face it sis, it was always you'  
_"Living in a nightmare"  
_'Was it my fault to go unnoticed? Hm… maybe I chose a bad family, if I had you as my sister…'  
_"A never-ending sleep"  
_'You just couldn't be second best. But, apparently, I did'  
_"But now that I am wide awake"  
_'The last time I spoke? "They don't see…" Who? Nobody sees. What? Me'  
_"My chains are finally free"  
_'When all the guys started to notice you, I thought "Well, it was about time!"'  
_"Don't feel sorry for me"  
_'In that moment, I still loved you'

_"All the days collided"  
_'I mean, c'mon, who couldn't love you?'  
_"One less perfect than the next"  
_'Maybe someone who's only your shadow'  
_"I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best"  
_'Because by then I still felt loved…'  
_"Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize"  
_'Be serious, didn't you notice I was being ignored by everyone?'  
_"That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity"  
_'I tried to let it slip, but it hurt…'

_"So if you're listening"  
_'Riles, you know I love you. But I just gotta be noticed too'  
_"There's so much more to me you haven't seen"  
_'How would you feel if mom and dad were all over me all the time and you were excluded?'  
_"Living in the shadow"  
_'Gotta wake ya up, sis'  
_"Of someone else's dream"  
_Chloe walks in the living room, where Riley is studying. She's wearing a baby-blue top with dark blue jeans.  
_"Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me"  
_She locks herself in the bathroom and throws up. She flushes it away, wishing she could do the same with everything.  
_"Living in a nightmare"  
_She comes out, a little dizzy, and looks at Riley for a second.  
_"A never-ending sleep"  
_She closes her eyes.  
_"But now that I am wide awake"  
_Chloe walks to her room and locks in. Riley cries.  
_"Then I can finally see"  
_Looking at the door, Riley gets up and walks nearer.  
_"Don't feel sorry for me-"  
_Looking from the peephole, she sees her sister's arms and legs.

_"Mother, sister, father, sister, mother"  
_She stares at her relieved expression when the blood is at her sight.  
_"Everything's cool now"  
_She watches her drawing thin lines in her wrists, and laying in bed.  
_"Mother, sister, father, sister, mother"  
_Riley opens the door slowly, and stares at her sister. Her mouth opens and she runs to her side.  
_"Everything's cool now"  
_She and her sister lock eyes, then Chloe closes hers.  
_"Oh, my life is good"  
_"Mom!" Riley cried. "Dad!" she stares at Chloe's face, and their parents rush in.  
_"I've got more than anyone should"  
_"I loved you, Riles…" Chloe mutters.  
_"Oh, my life is good"  
_"I love you, Chlo…" she mutters back, kissing her forehead.  
_"And the past is in the past"  
_Manuelo dials 911, and rushes in too.

_"I was living in the shadow"  
_"They… didn't see me. Now they won't have to…" Chloe whispers, Riley finally understands.  
_"Of someone else's dream"  
_Riley cries when she sees her sister closing her eyes again.  
_"Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me"  
_Chloe's shaky hand reaches for her sister's.  
_"I'm living in a new day"  
_"…I'm scared…" she mutters.  
_"I'm living it for me"  
_Riley kisses her hand and squeezes it.  
_"And now that I am wide awake"  
_Chloe gives her a half smile.  
_"Then I can finally see"  
_Slowly, her hand slips from Riley's.  
_"Don't feel sorry for me"  
_Riley strokes her sister's hair, crying.  
_"Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me"  
_She rests her head on Chloe's.  
_"Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me"  
_"I never thought you would do this…" she whispers.

_"Living in, living in, living in the shadow"  
_Chloe's last words repeating in her mind. 'I'm scared'  
_"Living in, living in, living in a new day"  
_'Now you won't have to, lil' sis…'


	2. Take Me Away

**Disclaimer: I don't own So Little Time or anything related to it. The song 'Take Me Away' belongs to Avril Lavigne.  
  
One year later:**

_"I cannot find a way to describe it"_  
Riley Carlson looked around in the empty room she once shared with her sister.  
_"It's there inside; all I do is hide"_  
She could sense her presence everywhere.  
_"I wish that it would just go away"  
_Shortly after Chloe's death, she had started to punish herself._  
"What would you do, you do, if you knew"_  
She knew Chloe's actions were all her fault.  
_"What would you do"_  
And that it was too late for an apology.

_"All the pain I thought I knew"_  
That night, she cried herself to sleep, like so many times before.  
_"All the thoughts lead back to you"_  
Seeing herself in a mirror made her think of her sister. She couldn't resist it anymore.  
_"Back to what was never said"_  
"I'm sorry, Chlo…" she whispered, still crying.  
_"Back and forth inside my head"_  
"I wanted to be your Riles again so badly…"  
_"I can't handle this confusion"_  
"I think… I just stold your life. I'm sorry, sis…"  
_"I'm unable; come and take me away"_  
Her parents watched her, silent. They knew they couldn't help her if she didn't reach out.

_"I feel like I am all alone"_  
Riley sat by herself, as usual, on her Study Hall. She wasn't expecting anyone to come sit near her, not after Chloe's death.  
_"All by myself I need to get around this"_  
"Hey, Riley," Larry's voice said. She looked up with a lost stare and ignored him.  
_"My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you"  
_"What do you want? I'm not in the mood for you right now," she snapped.  
_"If I show you, I don't think you'd understand"_  
"Gee, I'm sorry. I just thought you might need a friend…" he replied, before walking away sadly. Riley placed her hands over her chest and cried.  
_"Cause no one understands"_  
She couldn't allow anyone to help her.

_"All the pain I thought I knew"_  
Tracing her fingers around the marks in her arms, Riley shivered.  
_"All the thoughts lead back to you"_  
She knew Chloe had done it, and it had killed her too.  
_"Back to what was never said"_  
"How come everything reminds me of you?" she cried.  
_"Back and forth inside my head"_  
"Leave me alone!" she yelled to no one, throwing her pillow to the floor.  
_"I can't handle this confusion"_  
Downstairs, her parents exchanged glances.  
_"I'm unable; come and take me away"_  
"He has to reach out," Jake remembered his wife. Macy nodded and wiped a few tears.

_"I'm going nowhere (on and on and)"_  
Riley sobbed and fell to the floor.  
_"I'm getting nowhere (on and on and on)"_  
"I can't take this anymore, Chlo…" she whispered.  
_"Take me away"  
_"Won't I ever be happy again?" she asked herself.  
_"I'm going nowhere (on and off and off and on)"_  
She walked right by her bed and looked at Chloe's.  
_"(and off and on)"  
_She threw herself there, and sobbed.

_"All the pain I thought I knew"_  
Recomposing a little, Riley got up.  
_"All the thoughts lead back to you"_  
Her mind came to only one conclusion.  
_"Back to what was never said"_  
She grabbed a bunch of her clothes, their last photo together and Chloe's pillow.  
_"Back and forth inside my head"_  
Trying not to fall or make any noise, she opened her window.  
_"I can't handle this confusion"_  
She threw her bag down and followed it quickly.  
_"I'm unable; come and take me away"_  
She walked across the street, trying not to be seen.

_"Take me away"  
_Riley knocked on the door._  
"Break me away"  
_He opened it and stared at her, she was looking down._  
"Take me away"  
_"I need your help…" she whispered.

End of chapter.

**AN: Thanx to LGFever (my BFF!) and Cka3ka-13... I'm working on the 3rd and (I think) last chapter. Btw (Cka3ka-13) The Virgin Suicides is a great movie...**

Cya!  
LyG4ever.


	3. Breakaway

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'So Little Time' or anything related to it. The song 'Breakaway' belongs to Kelly Clarkson.**

_"Grew up in a small town"  
_Riley sat on his car backseat, waiting as he turned the engine on.  
_"And when the rain would fall down"_  
She continued silent as the rain hitted the windows.  
_"I'd just stare out my window"  
_She stared out and he looked at her, mesmerized.  
_"Dreaming of what could be"_  
She closed her eyes, trying to imagine a softer place to go.  
_"And if I'd end up happy"  
_She opened them shortly after and stared into his.  
_"I would pray (I would pray)"_  
Riley sat down straight and continued locking eyes firmly.

_"Trying hard to reach out"  
_He didn't ask her anything, he just did what she had told him to.  
_"But when I tried to speak out"_  
"I-," Riley started, but the words got caught in her troath.  
_"Felt like no one could hear me"  
_He nodded, there was no need for words.  
_"Wanted to belong here"_  
She looked outside again, sad of leaving her home.  
_"But something felt so wrong here"  
_"I couldn't take it anymore," she finally spoke up.  
_"So I pray (I would pray)"_  
"...Chlo... she haunts me here," she whispered, guilt in her voice.  
_"I could breakaway"  
_"If I hadn't done anything, she'd still be here"

_"I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly"  
_He shook his head. "You know it's not true"  
_"I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky"_  
"Say what you want, but it wasn't really your fault," he said.  
_"I'll make a wish"  
_Riley closed her eyes sadly. "I wanted to be noticed," she whispered.  
_"Take a chance"_  
"More than Chlo... I just wanted to be number 1"  
_"Make a change"  
_"She could never forgive me"  
_"And breakaway"_  
"Riley... this was deep inside Chloe. She did that because she was already bad," he said.  
_"Out of the darkness and into the sun"  
_Riley looked up again, then stared outside.  
_"But I won't forget all the ones that I love"_  
"I just... wanted them to love me," she whispered. "I want Chlo to forgive me"  
_"I'll make a wish"  
_He looked at her and pulled over the car.  
_"Take a chance"_  
"This was her favorite place. Go say goodbye to her here," he said.  
_"Make a change"  
_Riley looked at the warm sand, nodded, and ran out of the car.  
_"And breakaway"_  
He followed her slowly.

_"Wanna feel the warm breeze"  
_The gentle air played with her blonde hair.  
_"Sleep under a palm tree"_  
"By killing herself, she killed part of you too," he whispered. She nodded, eyes closed.  
_"Feel the rush of the ocean"  
_"We weren't two people. We were one," she agreed.  
_"Get onboard a fast train"_  
"You'll have to say goodbye, Riley. She'll understand"  
_"Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)"  
_Tears streamed down Riley's face as she knelt down.  
_"And breakaway"_  
"I love you, Chlo... I'm sorry," she whispered.

_"I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly"  
_He grabbed her hand and led her back to his car.  
_"I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky"_  
"You'll make it," he said. She nodded.  
_"I'll make a wish"  
_"I know I will. I just don't want to," she replied.  
_"Take a chance"_  
"Do you wanna stay here, part of you gone forever, and get nowhere?" he asked.  
_"Make a change"  
_"Chloe wouldn't have wanted that for you. She loved you" Riley nodded again.  
_"And breakaway"_  
"She wanted to go to NYU too, but that's not gonna happen," she snapped.  
_"Out of the darkness and into the sun"  
_She looked up again, tearing more.  
_"But I won't forget all the ones that I love"_  
He opened his arms and she recluded on his chest, crying.  
_"I'll make a wish"  
_"Let's go," she whispered.  
_"Take a chance"_  
He nodded, squeezed her hand one more time, and started the car again.  
_"Make a change"  
_Riley looked back at the beach for a last time.  
_"And breakaway"_  
"Breakaway..." she whispered.

_"Buildings with a hundred floors"  
_She lied down in the backseat, trying to sleep.  
_"Swinging around revolving doors"_  
"Where are we going?" she asked. He shrugged.  
_"Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but"  
_"Wherever our fate wants us to," he replied.  
_"Gotta keep moving on, moving on"_  
"We can't stay in the same place for our whole lives"  
_"Fly away, breakaway"  
_"Just breakaway," she repeated.

_"I'll spread my wings"_  
Riley sat again, looking outside by the window.  
_"And I'll learn how to fly"  
_"Are we gonna find what we're looking for?" he asked.  
_"Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye"_  
"The only thing I want isn't here," she sadly said.  
_"I gotta take a risk"  
_She shrugged. "...or could be anywhere"  
_"Take a chance"_  
He looked at her. "What is it that you want?" he asked.  
_"Make a change"  
_"I wanna be happy again," she whispered.  
_"And breakaway"_  
"You'll make it," he promised.  
_"Out of the darkness and into the sun"  
_They both looked up to see the giant sign.  
_"But I won't forget the place I come from"_  
"New York..." Riley whispered. "Is this right for us?"  
_"I gotta take a risk"  
_"You said it yourself, Riley," he said.  
_"Take a chance"_  
"And what are you looking for?" she asked. He smiled at her.  
_"Make a change"  
_"The person who used to be my best friend," he replied.  
_"And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway"_  
Riley closed her eyes lightly while leaning her head over Larry's shoulder.  
"Breakaway," she muttered.

The End.

**AN: Okay, the end came out a little different than I'd thought... Riley wanting to Breakaway...**

Cka3ka-13: Thanx!  
Stormynights78613: Thanx you so much 4 your reviews!  
Leigh A. Sumpter: Thanx to you too!

AN2: Ok, it's over twelve am here, and I'm soooooo tired... I just finished writing this, but I'll leave here a question...

Q: WHY IS CHLOE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO DIES?  
MY ANSWER: It seems like Riley would be unable to keep on without her sister, because Chloe's character is... well, different. I like Ashley better, so I wanted to give Riley a little drama. I couldn't picture Chloe going through that...

Thanx a lot 4 reading my stupid comments!  
Cya!  
LyG4ever.


End file.
